Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
