found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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