I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
third nipple confirmed
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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