my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
