Sry I called you an 8
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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