i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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