Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
