He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
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A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
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I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I lost the right to judge tonight
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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