last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
