I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
