About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
