i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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