so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
lol hangovers are for mortals.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
