no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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