New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
