Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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