I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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