Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
