Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
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also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
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I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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