We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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