it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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