I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
