We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It's never too late to be topless.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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