dude i'm inner monologue high
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
