We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize