That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
