He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize