Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize