man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
