So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I enjoy the company of your penis
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
