Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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