By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Rumble strips road head = magical
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
