he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
