singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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