i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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