Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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