Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
