I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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