I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
