My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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