the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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