I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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