some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Someone came in the potted fern
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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