I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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