nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
