I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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