i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Randomize
