I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
