I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
