I accidentally had phone sex last night
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
