I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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