I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
