When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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