I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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