hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
