my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
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