Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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