I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
