He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
