Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
