Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
