dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
