If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
