We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Dignity is for republicans.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
